operation have a gay friend backfired
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
