I should be sponsored by Trojan
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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