i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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