why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
