He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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