what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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