I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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