its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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