is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
