I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
