You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize