and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
