everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
