Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
