Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
