and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
