Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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