I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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