I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
