There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
