do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
