when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
