May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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