Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
