I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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