3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
