4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
