U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
