I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize