So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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