i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
