She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
