So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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