Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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