Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
