It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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