Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My underwear smells like fireworks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
