The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
