there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
