Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize