But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
