I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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