the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
