Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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