i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Farmville is her only friend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
