i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize