HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
