I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hippo gnu deer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
