thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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