At least make sure they are 18
Why
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
