the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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