I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just threw up on my dentist
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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