Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
