my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
