come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize