my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
