so explain again why im purple
no
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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