i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
